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Thursday, January 10, 2013

Happy Birthday To My Grandma!

My Grandma & Twinkle, 1989

I miss you always, but especially today. It's been nine years since you've been gone. As much as I miss you I'm glad you got to be with Papa A. like you wanted to be when he passed on. 
 
During the three years you lived after his death, I knew you were simply waiting to go too. Your heart just wasn't into life without Papa A in it. Your smile was wistful and your look was often far away. 
 
I wish I'd gotten out of my head sooner, there's so many things I would have told you.
 
You were the first grownup I was ever so completely fascinated by. I never knew a grownup could laugh and smile so easily until I laid eyes on you. I thought only little kids giggled until I met you. I jaw-dropped and may have even drooled, I thought you were so cool!
 
Going to your house was like landing on another planet compared to our house when I was a girl. Maybe you could see how unhappy we all were? Well.... we were still in the early days of our new life here in America. Mama and Papa were the most awkward couple I'd ever seen. To us they seemed to frown a lot and to me they also looked unsure.
 
At five I didn't know much what a happy marriage looked like, but some how I knew theirs was not one. Walking into your home, seeing you and Papa A. exchange secret smiles, it was as if you shared a private joke.
 
I never wanted to go home! I was all like, Yay! Joy lives here! We kids  figure if we stayed long enough it might rub off on all of us.
 
I know you hear these words, Grandma. I just wish I would have said them out loud so I could see you smile. Thank you for being such a loving grownup in my world. I'll always cherish these memories of you:
 
  • The way your eyes locked on mine when we talked. You made me feel like the most important little person in the world.
  • The way you gushed over me whenever I was wearing something you liked, especially a frilly dress.
  • Introducing my palate to soft boiled egg, lightly salted and peppered. Yummy!
  • The way you hugged me close to your bosom, smooshing my face into your boobs. That was mortifying at age eight, but I do miss those hugs now.
  • The way you called me by my first and middle name whenever I was in trouble. I rarely leave my middle initial out of my signature to you.
  • That I had my own drawer in the spare bedroom, with pajamas and clothes for overnights at your house.
  • The way you almost always cried when I was bawling about whatever. How you hated to see me cry.
  • Introducing me to vampire movies. I was too young by Mama and Papa's standards. It was our little secret.
  • The candy dish on your coffee table was always filled with treats for us.
  • We kids could sit on any couch or chair we wanted to in your living room. In Mama and Papa's house the living room was for guests, the den was for us kids.
  • The way you loved to play your music loud, while clapping to get us dancing.
  • The stories you later told me about fleeing Cuba during Castro's reign when you were just 18.
  • Your love for animals. I remember you had both cats and dogs. Pets were unheard of in our house.
  • That two of your favorite foods were snicker bars and pizza. I have the salt & sweet tooth gene too!
  • That you taught me to crochet. 
  • And so much more!
 
I love you Grandma. And I sure do miss you!
 
I'm sure you know, Mama and Papa aren't together anymore. You'd be pleasantly surprised to see how they've changed. They became better friends to each other and they laugh more than they did when we were all younger. 
 
And where once ago, Papa was mad at you all the time, nowadays he brags about you and the things you taught him. Mama recently told me she saved an entire box of all your pictures and important papers. I'm very excited about that since I'm the only one who wants that stuff.
 
Thanks for making such a lasting impression on us all, especially me. I love so many things in life because I learned by watching you. I like to think God made you special just for me. 
 
Smooches to you Grandma! I will see you again one day. Until then feel free to roam around in my heart daily. It's made a little bigger because of you.
 
Happy Birthday Grandma!

Ellen Barnes
January 10, 1927 - May 1, 2004

15 comments:

Nikki said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

What an incredible post! I love your grandma, too after reading this! I once heard Maya Angelou say that children don't need things, they need to see your eyes light up when they enter the room. Grandma knew that long before Maya it sounds like to me. Happy Birthday Grandma....thanks for sharing such intimate details of your heart. Loved it!!! :)N

city said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

thanks for share.

Granny Annie said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

My paternal grandparents were a giggly pair as well and exchanged loving glances and pats often. There was candy on the table ALWAYS and I have the dish now in my home. Trips to the Five and Dime with grandma were unbelievable fun and her purse always smelled of spearmint gum. Plus we got to watch soap operas at their house and even eat on TV trays in front of the television.

I know your grandma because she was a lot like my grandma. Thank you for awakening those memories for me this morning.

Debbie Jones said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

What a lovely tribute. Thank you for sharing. Happy Birthday to your grandmother up in heaven.

Pedaling said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

BEAUTIFUL! That's the kind of grandma I want to be!

namaste said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

nik, you comment felt like a big ole hug! thanks! maya sure got that right. it's true about children. weird how grammas seem to know. i guess cuz it's their second go-round as mothers. thanks for your sweet birthday wish!

city, thank you!

my grandma LOVED the soaps too. so cool how similar our paths are, annie. thanks for sharing you memories too!

debbie, welcome to my blog! thanks for the birthday wish!

pedaling, you ARE that kind of grandma and MORE!

Just a conservative girl said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh, that brought tears to my eyes. I didn't have grandparents growing up. I think children being around them is so important.

tammy said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Loved reading this. What a special bond you had. You made me miss my Grandparents.

mCat said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Beautiful tribute! I miss my Grandma terribly. I was closer to her than my own mom, and I still dream about her at least once a week.

I hope I am the same kind of Grandma to my lil Chloee and any others that come along.

namaste said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

jacg, thanks for that. you're so right. grandparents are the gifts that children should have.

tammy, i appreciate your sentiments. it was my hope that other grandparents would be remembered.

mcat, thank you! your little chloee is a lucky lucky girl to have YOU for a grandma!

Kathy Lorcan said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Awww, this is simply wonderful.
I like these birthday wishes for grandma you have on this post.
simply sweet and wonderful!
Happy Birthday to her!

The Chick said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

This gave me tears and made me think of my own Nana, what a wonderful post

namaste said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

kathy, welcome!

the chick, hey! nice to see you again!

Norma said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

What lovely memories.

namaste said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

thanks norma! :)