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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

A Conversion

This is me with my daughter, Moonchie, a half hour or so before our baptism last Sunday. Well not hers. Ours. Hubby and I got baptized.

So much has been going on, I haven't known where to begin to post here. A friend from our blog community, Tammy, lost her husband last weekend. We all are mourning with her for this sad loss. We love you, Tammy. You are in our prayers.

And then....

The next day after our baptism, when I got home from work, Moonchie told me her friend, Seth was in a car accident and is in critical condition. He died yesterday. Moonchie has been grief-stricken. I've seen her through the grief of a young person before, also due to a car accident. At the time Moonchie was just 15. It was a long and painful time for our family.

She's 21 now. I pray her grief doesn't drag out as painfully and as years long as it did then. Yesterday, as I tried to console her, I felt like I was saying ALL the wrong things, like I was putting my foot in my mouth. I realize now my fear of her 15th year was gripping me.

This morning I left a love note on her bathroom mirror. I hope my words were more helpful and encouraging than they were yesterday. During times of grief, we don't always know what to say. I try to imagine what I would want someone to say to me and I speak from that imagined place. No matter how many times death comes near, grief times are always hard.

So yah! Life has been really happening over here. And yet.... I do know God has his arms around us all.

And I also know that the difficult times make us stronger and more loving simply by virtue of God's pure love within and for us all.

You're watching the live, flower-like unfolding of a beautiful life over here. Whereas once ago, I might have tamped down, hiding my feelings of wonder and joy about this life. Ha!! There'll be no more of that.

I am thankful for having the most beautiful friends on the planet. Never in a million years did I ever think I could know so many loving people all at once.

I am thankful for my beautiful daughters. I love being their mother, knowing that every single day I have renewed opportunities to parent them better than I did the day before.

I am thankful for the blogosphere, bringing extra love into my world.

I am thankful for my loving husband who makes me feel like a rockstar and princess combined.

Yes, my life is full with its ups and downs. But be assured I am a happy, thankful girl. I have a Heavenly Father who loves me. I love Jesus Christ. I am proud to be a Mormon.

Welcome to my conversion.


Nikki said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Holy Cow!!! Life really is happening over at your life!! I am so proud to know you and even more amazed at the wisdom you continue to give. I'm not sure there are any words of condolence that are ever truly worthy of how we are feeling when trying to comfort someone. Words often fail us in these situations, however knowing you care is monumental. I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is going through this difficult time and I know these things don't make sense, but I do know our friends and family that have died are close to us. We do need angels while we are here and who else would it be to fill that position but our loved ones?? I can't wait to see some pics of white....and the police report to go with them! HA!!! Love you like a sister!! :)N

Pedaling said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

that is quite an emotional weekend.

so many times i feel like i say the wrong thing- my hope is that they know my heart and my good intent.
i'll bet your words were alright the first time, but notes are such a great way to think something out and communicate.

there are a few things i am afraid of, death is not one of them, but oh how we mourn and hurt for those left behind.

i'm going to go out there and say that i would bet, moonchi has more understanding about the spiritual nature of life here and beyond that though she will hurt, she will come through this stronger and with more faith.

tammy, well-i think when something like this happens, we all put ourselves in her position and hurt for her and this unexpected life ahead. tammy will be alright, but as she noted, wow, this really sucks!

as for your baptism, big congratulations. so much love out there- so many friends yet to meet IRL. It has been a joy watching this journey. more faith, more knowledge, more love, more understanding! such a blessing!

FIREBIRD said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Parents say the wrong thing from time to time - it's what they do.... there was a stretch of about three years when MINE couldn't say anything right to me.... but I outgrew it! Thing was.... they were there loving me, supporting me, cherishing me through it all, and looking back, there were far fewer wrong things said than right things. You're THERE for your daughter, and that's worth all the words in the world.

God will bring you all through your grief, and you'll be stronger on the other side.... may His Love heal your hearts...

mCat said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

So so many words and thoughts in my head!
First off - congratulations on your baptism. That IS quite a journey and not an easy one to undertake. I am so happy for you and I would say I welcome you with open arms, but I would have arms open for you wether or not you ever got baptized. I will say this, with the gift of the Holy Ghost now, you will find yourself much more peaceful and while you think you may be saying the wrong things to your daughter, I bet they all the right things. Your follow up note is inspired and you'll help her in ways you can't even have imagined.

Death is so hard. At least hard for those of us left behind, but the knowledge of living together in the eternities with our families brings a measure of comfort.

My heart is so full for you right now!

namaste said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

nik, knowing i care is monumental. thanks! i needed to hear that. oh the pics of us in white- LOL! i'll use the front door and ask permission first. haha! thanks for your encouragement. i've been torn about writing about this. your words are lifting!

pedaling, it's a true observation you make about my daughter. i will hold your words like a prayer- she will come through this stronger and with more faith. thank you! as i've said before, i'm so glad you're on this journey with us. thanks for your congrats!

firebird, i'm so glad to have you share your own experience from the daughter side of things. thank you, thank you! your words are helpful and encouraging!

mcat, thanks! i know you welcome me either way, but it feels more special this way. as for the note. *sigh* i'm guessing she'll appreciate it more in a few years than right now. but you're right, it was completely inspired.

Sandi said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

That's such a beautiful photo! I remember you telling the story of what your daughter went through so many years ago. How sad that's she has lost another friend. Stay strong for yourself and for her and know that a lot of us love you

Granny Annie said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Parenting our adult children is a near impossibility. I have given up...well a little:)

tammy said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I am so happy for you. I've thought about you often this past week. I can tell you I'm so thankful for the gospel in my life. I know I couldn't get through this trial in my life without it, and I'm so glad you have that knowledge and blessing in your life, too.

(And I really want to tell my liberal friend that it's because of Mitt that you joined the church - ha ha!)

namaste said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

sandi, thanks for your encouragement. it means a lot!

granny annie, yep, i know just how you feel.

tammy, BIG HUGS! to you my friend. so true, the gospel is a blessing in all our lives. thanks for thinking of me during this trying time. LOL! sure, tell your liberal friend just that :)