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Monday, December 31, 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


Even when I was a a party-girl, New Year's Eve was the one night in which I stayed home, pretty much every year. I still keep that tradition. It works for me. I like it.

 
Also, when I was a party-girl, I have tended to bring the New Year in with a count-down, a cheer and a prayer. I'd always preferred to spend New Years Eve with very close friends and/or family.

 
This year will be no different. Quiet. In the peace and comfort of my home. With my family.

 
I don't knock the revelers who go out and party. I just always hope they're careful and safe (they've always made me nervous, seemingly more reckless than the other nights of the year).

 
I look forward to 2013. The year of 2012 was so good to me, I expect even more goodness in this new year.

 
 
Actually, it wasn't good every single day. We did suffer the loss of a family member who died in middle-age. That's young, like us. Nothing like a sudden death to remind us how much of a gift life truly is.

 
We also mourn the loss of two family members who've been withdrawn from our lives these last few years. It's not death, but it's sad and hurtful just the same. And yet, we go on, don't we?

 
It is a constant adjustment, living without people you love, who are alive and well and out of touch. Life goes on, and we've done our best to focus on our blessings. We love them and hope we reconnect one of these days.

 
In the meantime, I'm looking forward to the wonderful surprises our lives will bring in 2013. God keeps blessing us and I am ever grateful for His presence.

 
Happy New Year, friends!


 
I hope 2013 brings you and your families many blessings too!

 
So tell me, was 2012 good to you? Are you excited about 2013 at all?
 
 

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Driving Through This Life


Do you feel as if life got better since the presidential election? I totally do! Not because of the results, but just because we all got to move on from that time.
I can confess this to you now that it's over. The night before the election results, I was afraid. Actually I felt nervous during the last several months of the election. It just felt like there was so much hostility and tension all around.
And I fully expected violence from the some of the more ignorant groups on the left if Mitt Romney won. (We had our guns and ammo ready)
Anywayz, I'm just glad it's over and I can focus completely on how good life truly is. I feel thankful to be alive. And you know what? For those who may still be railing about how bad off the country is and will continue to get, I'm sorry for them. That's just tiring.
 
Besides, in all likelihood, a little person may be watching. Maybe you're an uncle or an aunt, a brother or sister, or maybe you're a parent or a neighbor. Someone is always watching you.
My "little persons" are young adults now. But they still watch me and despite their constant hunger for autonomy, they also mirror me (on a subconscious level). So if I think life sucks and my demeanor reflects such thinking, my kids are apt to be copying my behavior.
How's life been feeling to YOU lately? I'm sure you know this, but consider this reminder. If you spend just a few minutes each day reflecting on the things you're grateful for, life can feel better, funner, and sweeter. I kid you not. You should try it.
Can you think of anything makes you smile right now? What is it?
Here's my list:
  1. My new camera. I took the above picture this morning while hubby drove.
  2. My house. It feels homey.
  3. My health. It's better since I stopped drinking.
  4. My family. My husband and children make me feel very loved.
  5. My friends. I have amazing, wonderful friends.
  6. My job. It's close to home and I actually like most of my co-workers. And I also have the coolest boss ever. She'll roll up her sleeves and do any grunt work the rest of us does.
  7. My husband, (worthy of a second mention) cuz he's the easiest person in the world to get along with. He has a laid-back demeanor and he's the good cop to my bad cop. Me? Occasionally I bite heads (not literally). I'm not a yeller but I have a sharp tongue. Hubby is almost always more patient and kind. When I grow up, I want to be like my hubby.
Lastly, I am thankful for the snow. As much as I don't like having to drive through it, I do realize it's good for business. Our ski resorts and restaurants are thriving, that's good news for our state's economy.
 
I'm enjoying some snow time
 

Our backyard this afternoon
 
 
 
My hubby being playful in the snow
 
How's your drive through this life going?
 

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Am I Too Late? MERRY CHRISTMAS BLOG FRIENDS!!

I hope you all had a great Christmas! Some of you are likely still hosting family and/or friends at your home or maybe you're still the guest somewhere. Maybe the time during this festive season is speeding by or dragging slowly. The holiday season affects us all differently. Totally understandable.
 
As I was bopping around the internet, seeing blog post headlines which read, Merry Christmas, it occurred to me I didn't write a Christmas post of my own.
 
Kids Were MIA
Since our daughters spent Thanksgiving with us, they spent Christmas with their Dad. So it was just hubby and I with our two doggies.
 
Christmas Eve
We spent it with friends, four families, 18 of us in total. It was a lot of fun. I took a bunch of pictures with..... guess what?!..... my new camera! Yup, hubby let me open his gift to me a few days before Christmas.
 
My year was made with the only thing I wanted! Woo-hoooo!! Look out! I'm that annoying chick clicking endless pics while you're trying to live your life in peace. Haha! Good times.
 
Christmas Day
Super quiet! Very short gift exchange between us and the doggies. During our late breakfast, the doorbell rang. We let the Jehovah Witnesses in cause we were in high spirits. But we ushered them out politely after about 10 minutes, saying of course, Merry Christmas!
 
Watched one of our favorite Christmas movies, It's A Wonderful Life. Couch-talked (like pillow-talk but without the bed) for a couple of hours, ate junk-food (me) and leftovers (him) and turned in early.
 
In between all that I was texting, socializing on Facebook, and chatting on the phone. It was an excellent Christmas. Today I'm back to work (apparently not working the whole time).
 
What about you? How was your Christmas?
 
 
 
P.S. Pictured above, my two favorite scenes from Elf.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Me, with my new camera

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Dear President Obama, I Will Try


I guess I should start by apologizing to you. I'm sorry for disparaging you with such relish and vigor in our recent past. For your second term, I'm gonna try to be a better citizen. Since I'm almost certain you read my blog (you don't? shut up, yes you do), I no longer want to be considered part of the problem in your estimation. Going forward I will try to be a part of the solution!
 
I've determined that publicly criticizing every little thing you do as a sitting president is unproductive. Looking around I've observed many citizens who are simply moving on with their lives, showing (quiet) respectful support of your position as president even if they didn't vote for you. I think if I try really hard, I can do that too. I know this sounds like snark cuz I have tended to operate on my immature side, but I mean it.
 
From now on I will try taking your presidency so personal. It's not like I made sexual advances and was rebuffed by you or anything. Not like you stole my puppy and drowned it when we were kids or something. Reading my blog one might think so. I'm guilty of making fun of your ears and your slim bod. Sorry about all that. It all stops today.
 
I don't expect to agree with most of your decisions for our country. But business is business and I am gonna make a better effort to suck it up and stop trash-talking the boss. Sorry I called you a shithead in my last post. That was my pain talking.
 
Yes, I was truly devastated by your win and that kind of knowledge can't be an easy pill for you to swallow as an election winner. Knowing so many people voted against you? Knowing some of us even cried? Yeah, that's not scrapbook worthy material for you or your peeps. And I'm sure in two or three years there will be another countdown widget in your honor on my blog. I'm human Mr. President. Please try not to hold that against me.
 
If it's any consolation, I offer you this full disclosure. I never really hated you. That was a defense mechanism fib. I said it often from a rejected place. As an American, I saw a number of your decisions as an attack on my beliefs. Oh you know, the Constitution, my Amendment rights, my freedoms, little things like that. 
 
Think of it this way. Like if someone promised to harm your family by stealing stuff they cherished. Or promised to break locks on all the doors of your home so your family would be vulnerable and unprotected. You know? Okay, maybe you don't see it the way I see it. So that's why I'm gonna agree disagree to disagree with you, Mr. President. From here on in, I respectfully accept and stand in support of your presidency.
 
Am I all of a sudden in love with you? No offense, but no. Do I even like you? Oh geez, sorry but that's another no. And yet, take heart Mr. President, I DO have love for you. I want to live on the right side of God. When I pray for our country, I want to be heard minus contradictions and with as pure a heart as I can muster.
 
I wish you the best of luck in your performance as president over the next four years. May God bless us all.
 
Sincerely,
 
Namaste
 
 
P.S. Merry Christmas to you and your family!
 
;-)
 

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I'm Friggin Trying Over Here!

And it's not like I'm getting paid over here to write all this stuff, ya know! I DO have a real job. Yeah, I'm feeling a pinch bit effin stabby. Sorry. No actually I'm not. Go away if you don't like this. People who like me don't care about when my mood shifts so piss off. No zen buddha today. Out of no where I'm having cramps when my uterus has been gone for two years. What a stinkin gyp!! My body and its girl trickery. I don't know what to write. That shithead won the election and now I don't know what I want to write about cuz I didn't stop to think what would be next after all that spewing I was doing a few months ago. Aarrgghh! And I don't want to keep blah blah blogging about how bad everything is. Screw the fiscal cliff. Who cares. But who in the world wants to read my zen buddha happicrap all the time. Ugh! I'm just on my OWN nerves. But I said when I came back that I wouldn't go away, so I won't. Cuz who wants to commit to reading a blogger if she's unreliable?! And she disappears cuz she's bored or her stomach hurts or she doesn't like the president or something. And please don't wonder if I'm talking about you cuz I'm NOT. I'm talking about ME. Why does everything have to be about YOU! Ugh! -- Cuz it IS. Doesn't EVERYbody make everything about THEM? I think so. -- I'd just like to be able to keep my word and keep showing up here and not look flakey (like I feel when I disappear or write about silliness for lack of a muse), but honestly? I don't know. And I'm not trying to please the whole gosh darn lot of you cuz that would be too tall a friggin order. I just have cramps, Okay?!! And I need to write through it! Cuz sometimes stupid posts happen, so just get the hell over it! And another thing that's irritating is I need to find the funny. Where the heck is all the funny stuff? Did everybody forget how to be funny in this country or whhaaaaattt?! I need to laugh! Don't talk to me about Ted! I watched it. It wasn't funny it was ridiculous. Ok, yes. I did laugh at some parts. But really and truly it was dumb. You liked it? Well good for you. I didn't. We need the funny back, that's for doggone sure. That's it. That's my post. Good bye. The end. Go away. I keep it real over here. Politeness is overrated. Ouch. Crap. 

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Which Sex Make Better Friends?


On a lighter note, calling all relationship experts! Inquiring minds would like to know if you're good friends with the opposite sex (not counting your spouse). Do you know the secret to keeping opposite sex friendships platonic?
 
See that kid below? She started it!
 


She's all grown up now. My leg's older now too. And of course she would never let me put my naked foot on her nowadays (Ew! Mommy, I don't do feet!). But I digress!
 
So last night Shrimpie (not her real name) and I were talking and she got me thinking about her preference for female friends over male friends. Shrimpie says she finds she gets along better with her female friends. She feels a closer and more natural camaraderie with her girl friends than she does with her friends of the boy persuasion.
 
Shrimpie's theory is this: women who have a closer relationship their mothers than with their fathers (like she and I) prefer women friends. I didn't challenge her line of thinking on the subject, but our conversation left me wondering.
 
Could she be right? Why is it some women feel more comfortable in the company of men rather than among their own gender? Why do some men prefer the company of women instead of other men?
 
Me? I've always been partial to female company. But I don't think it has anything to do with my mother since I've never been close with her. It would have been nice, but we just never hit it off as mother/daughter friends. Of course, we love each other, but that's as far as it went, polite family love.
 
My father was gruff. No friendship material there either.
 
But still, I wonder if their might be some validity to Shrimpie's theory. I could simply be one of the exceptions to the rule, so I don't count myself in this study.
 
On the other hand, I know a lot of women who prefer men for friends. I also know some men who want nothing to do with other men for friendships since they like women as friends better. What do you think? Do you have a theory on male/female friendships versus the same sex camaraderies?
 
And if you have experience in long and true friendships with the opposite sex, I'd love to know what your secret is. My spouse is the only opposite sex friendship I have. Casual friendships with the opposite sex is okay, but close friendship with the opposite sex seems like asking for trouble, IMO.
 
How does one avoid the possible sexual attraction which often eventually follows? But maybe it's just me. What do you think?
 
Asking the age old question here. Can women and men be friends? Which of the sexes have been better friends to you?

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Praying For You, Connecticut



Some things are not meant for us to understand. Our faith and character requires the occasional test. We are reminded to love harder, forgive more, soul search deeper and pray often.
 
In the face of such devastating loss of lives, the pain and suffering can feel like endless agony. And yet, time does pull us through. You are not alone. Our nation holds you in her heart. 
 
Sandy Hook families, we send our condolences and our love. America mourns your losses. We are with you.
We are praying for you.
God Bless.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

NOT A Christmas Post

When I first started blogging and would go on jaunts of web searches for interesting blogs, I learned that I didn't like to do those searches during holiday seasons. Why? Because it was difficult to get a good sense of the blog if there were frequent posts about Christmas or Halloween or some other holiday.
 
I've enjoyed reading all kinds of posts by bloggers, but I've often been partial to blogs of the heart. I'm always "listening" for the strain of heartstrings when I read a blog. It's the passion in a post where the blogger just needed to put something out there cause that's where their head was at the moment, ya know?
 
So what's in my head today?
 
 
 
Auld Lang Syne
performed by
Straight No Chaser 
 
It's the best version I've ever heard!
 
It came on this morning and got me thinking about life (again). We're all at this new juncture as Americans having just held our 2012 presidential election a little over a month ago. We're all still making our adjustments to the results, good or bad by different standards.
 
And I'm thinking about the life chapters we each pass through. I'm at the beginning of one, myself. And being at the beginning makes me look at the previous chapters. How do we not look back before we move forward after such a historic election, right?
 
Sitting presidents have never been able to make or break my life, so I'm getting over the fact that Obama won. Although, I'm sure there are those who beg to differ cuz America is in its downward spiral and the planet's gonna explode any day now, yada yada yada.
 
For those of us for whom life continued on after November 7, tell me something. Do you like this song? Do you like what the lyrics speak about? I do. I really like it.
 
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And auld lang syne!
 
Here's my loose translation:
 
Should we forget about our past? Should we close the door to everywhere we've ever been? To everyone we've ever known? Should we forget about our past experiences and how we've been affected by them?
 
New in my life, right now, are many more like-minded people. It's awesome! Some are right here among my readership. That's pretty cool. Some are popping up in my real life. Fantastic!
 
Not to omit anyone who may be single, but I am loving all the married people who are standing like a beautiful bastion around my hubby and I. I'm loving all the married love pouring over us like a gorgeous rainbow.
 
Marriage has always rocked my socks! The union of marriage has been significantly improving my quality of life for nine years. I live at a constant slumber party where I laugh often without having to explain the punchline. 
 
So! How can I be mad about Obama when his insidious and discordant existence brought so many loving Americans into my sphere? I'm not mad at President Obama. Not that much. Not anymore. His attempt to divide our country brought many of us together.
 
By the same token, the sitting president will always represent a little bit of my past. Representing some people who still whine about what's due to them. Or some people who say America can go farther still to level the playing field, etc. etc. etc. 
 
Do I forget my past, which brought me pain? Do I forget the pain-filled people who caused me pain? Nope. I hope I always remember them. They brought me great lessons about life. They were instrumental in shaping my character, forcing me to dig deeper for strength.
 
How cool is the song, Auld Lang Syne! When we sing it, we pause to remember our past and our future.
 
 
 
Not a Christmas post, but a post in which we ruminate on our endings and beginnings.
 
A post about life.
 
Have you reflected on your endings and beginnings lately? Are you facing a new chapter in your life?
 
:-)

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Merry- I Mean Happy Hol- Oh Fuhgettaboutit!!


I keep saying Merry Christmas, meanwhile people all around me (in my workplace, for instance) are saying Happy Holidays. It occurs to me someone may eventually complain to my supervisor. Wouldn't that be exciting. Haha! Oh the controversy!
 
I dare them. If they do, I'll go all liberal on them and say they're just picking on me cause I'm black. Hehe. Just kidding! I may be childish, but I have my conservative pride.
 
Christmas Gifts
So! How far along is everyone with their Christmas shopping? I just started a few days ago and all I got so far are stocking-stuffers. I hope to be done by the weekend.
 
What do YOU want for Christmas? I usually don't ask for anything specific. But this year there is one little thing I truly desire. My family rarely reads the blog anymore, but just in case....
I want a camera please! Nothing fancy. I'm a simple girl. I'd just like to be able to use something other than my cell phone for pics. And our daughter doesn't always remember to bring hers when she visits.
 
Gifts For Adult Kids
How do families handle gift giving with adult kids these days? Do parents still let their kids give them a wish list? Depending on our available funds, it's varied for us each year. But having fairly young adults, it's still all new to me.
 
I'd love your opinion whether this applies to you directly or not. We were all kids once ago, right?
 
Forget it!
As for saying Merry Christmas, does it feel strange when you say it? I live in a very blue state, so yes, there is definite apprehension (hidden of course) when I say it. I'm not gonna say Happy Holidays, so fuhgettaboutit!
 
I mean if Hanukkah is your thing, just say Happy Hanukkah, right? I'll return that greeting for sure! If you're brave enough to say Happy Kwanzaa (a made up holiday by an angry socialist), I'll even return that greeting too. But I'm not gonna water everything down with Happy Holidays just because the latest social dictate calls for it.
 
Anywayz, let's talk gift giving and wish-lists!
 
;-)

Saturday, December 8, 2012

About The Ex-Husband


 
 
Disclaimer to my hubby: I tried to not use that title, but in the interest of
honest writing, it's what came to mind first. I tried other titles, but found
them misleading. I know you'll understand cuz you're wonderful like that.


We all, at one time or another, have experienced knowing someone in life who make us see red. Could be an in-law, could be an ex-spouse, could even be a family friend. Six years ago for me, it was my ex-husband, the father of my two daughters.
 
 
Of course now I better understand, as a former youthful idiot, I merely attracted someone who was just like the person I was at the time. Funny how that happens.
 
 
Apparently growing up takes a whole lot longer than 18 or 21 or even 25 years. Am I the only one didn't know this?
 
 
Well, I am making this a matter of public record because when I was growly and pissing vinegar at the onset of my blogging years, I was quite public about family members who decided to take the Highway instead of Myway. Especially especially all the ex- people!
 
 
I just could not abide by my ex-husband's refusal to parent according to my carefully written script.
 
 
I'll pause here and say this....
 
 
We have two beautiful, super-smart, funny and kindhearted kids (now ages 21 and 24). I shudder with chagrin to think of all those years I tried to take all the credit for their good traits and blame others for their bad ones.
 
 
All those years ago, I knew (though I refused to say this out loud) my ex was a wonderful person and I had chosen correctly for the young woman I was at the time. Ex-husband was a loving and caring young man from a close-knit, loving family.
 
So what happened, you might ask? Well, we each had very active demons gnawing and yammering inside our heads. And they simply wouldn't quiet down at the same time, so we drove each other batty during our brief marriage (of four years).

We divorced, our kids hated it and the rest is history.Falling in love and re-marrying didn't make things any better. Well for me, when I was focused on me (which was often), it was great. For our teenagers, not so much.
 
Long story short, 32 months ago I joined AA and sobered up. Yup! I thought it was simply a way for me to stop drinking. But the unexpected also happened: Every.Single.Thing. in my life changed.
 
 
At first I was excited about it all.12-steps, woo-hoo!! Let's do this!
 
 
Then I got nervous. Oh f**k meee!!, I thought. The thing I'd been drinking all these years to avoid was staring at me with non-drinking clarity: feelings! Uggghh.
 
 
Next came fear and then along came rage. Happy, scared, happy, panic, grrr! I yo-yo-ed through them all. It wasn't always fun, but hot-damn! I'm here to tell you, it sure has been worth it!
 
 
(Hang on I'm almost done, I promise!)
 
 
All the AA steps rocked my world for the better. But my personal favorite, the one that improved and enhanced all my relations is known as Step 4:
 
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
 
I had to take every situation and find my part in how it all went wrong. At first I was all, What the Whaaaat?! I've NEVER been wrong as far as I can tell!!
 
 
I tried to look at it from another angle and I was still all, Look how perfectly perfect I've been my whole friggin life! What about that?! If I was wrong it's because all those effers made me wrong!!
 
 
Eventually a small voice in my head (good ole dependable, God, to be exact) whispered, Hey, cut it out! Time for you to grow up. And I did.
 
I made amends with my ex-husband cause I realized, I played a role in the failure of our marriage. I played a role in our the occaional messes we made in parenting.
 
There was no big hoopla, nothing dragged out. No big speeches about alcohol, temporary insanity or bad timing. A simple case of I'm sorry I was such a brat. Apology accepted. That was a year and a half ago.
(I should note, Ex-Husband gave up drinking a few months after I did)
 
A Miracle
A couple of days ago I received two text messages, back to back, one from my oldest daughter and one from Ex-Husband. They said a UPS package would be waiting for me when I got home from work. Apparently, some months back my oldest had approached her father, an IT professional about my dying computer.
 
 
Turns out Ex-husband rebuilt and redesigned an extra laptop he had on hand. When I got home from work a few days ago, there on my front porch sat the box with my new laptop.
 
 
WOOO-HOOOO!!! Ex-Husband scored one for all the brothers, sons and husbands. Awesome!
 
 
The moral of my story is whatever you decide. I certainly have not morphed into an angel. I'm still sometimes childish immature, still have the occasional potty mouth. But I have learned a few things about life, such as, you get back what you put into it. And it's never too late to turn your life into something amazing and wonderful.
 
 
Hands down, my favorite revelation ever is knowing how much God loves me (cuz there was a time when I thought He did not). I have much to be thankful for this Christmas season. Life just keeps getting better and better.

 
The End.
 
 
If you read this far, thanks for reading, I hope it was worth your time.
 
Merry merry Christmas! Wooo-hoooo!! Yay Life! Yay God. Yay Family!
 
 
 
 


P.S. Now we'll have two computers in our home.

:-)

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

TEEEETTTHHHH!!


Looks like I'm gonna have to go back to basics on blog writing. I forgot stuff. Or maybe I didn't forget, necessarily. I'm just struggling with coming up with content? Yeah, that's it! So bear with me....
Besides, this happens to be my favorite time of the year. You know how alcoholics get really happy during a holiday like New Years Eve or St. Patrick's day cause now they can drink without getting the stink-eyes from loved ones? (Not that I would know anything about that).
Yeah, well that's what the Christmas season does for me. I can be my over-friendly self without being perceived as too annoying.
When I'm not provoked, I tend to live life on my lovey-dovey, bubbley side cause I like laughing and I don't mind for one minute looking like I might pee on myself.

During the Christmas season even the usual cranky people are breaking out their closely guarded smiles. WOOT-WOOT!! Teeeetthhh!! Good times.

In other news, along the blogging topic, I have a completely legit reason for being unable to post more frequently. I've joined the grief stricken among us who've lost their laptop after a long battle with who-knows-what fatal virus death-gripped em dead. Yes, my laptop of almost a decade is no longer with us. A moment of silence.
*sniff*
Thank you.
A new one is in the works. Hubby and I officially cancelled the vacay we were gonna take in February to pay for my new arrival. For now, no home computer of any kind for at least another two weeks.

Therefore, no internet and no blogging at home for a while.
Back to content. I shall make a list of topic ideas. I shall visit my favorite blogs. I shall keep my eyes open for real life fodder. And because I like you so much, I shall eavesdrop on hapless friends and strangers.
And you? What will you be doing?
;-)