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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Which Sex Make Better Friends?

On a lighter note, calling all relationship experts! Inquiring minds would like to know if you're good friends with the opposite sex (not counting your spouse). Do you know the secret to keeping opposite sex friendships platonic?
See that kid below? She started it!

She's all grown up now. My leg's older now too. And of course she would never let me put my naked foot on her nowadays (Ew! Mommy, I don't do feet!). But I digress!
So last night Shrimpie (not her real name) and I were talking and she got me thinking about her preference for female friends over male friends. Shrimpie says she finds she gets along better with her female friends. She feels a closer and more natural camaraderie with her girl friends than she does with her friends of the boy persuasion.
Shrimpie's theory is this: women who have a closer relationship their mothers than with their fathers (like she and I) prefer women friends. I didn't challenge her line of thinking on the subject, but our conversation left me wondering.
Could she be right? Why is it some women feel more comfortable in the company of men rather than among their own gender? Why do some men prefer the company of women instead of other men?
Me? I've always been partial to female company. But I don't think it has anything to do with my mother since I've never been close with her. It would have been nice, but we just never hit it off as mother/daughter friends. Of course, we love each other, but that's as far as it went, polite family love.
My father was gruff. No friendship material there either.
But still, I wonder if their might be some validity to Shrimpie's theory. I could simply be one of the exceptions to the rule, so I don't count myself in this study.
On the other hand, I know a lot of women who prefer men for friends. I also know some men who want nothing to do with other men for friendships since they like women as friends better. What do you think? Do you have a theory on male/female friendships versus the same sex camaraderies?
And if you have experience in long and true friendships with the opposite sex, I'd love to know what your secret is. My spouse is the only opposite sex friendship I have. Casual friendships with the opposite sex is okay, but close friendship with the opposite sex seems like asking for trouble, IMO.
How does one avoid the possible sexual attraction which often eventually follows? But maybe it's just me. What do you think?
Asking the age old question here. Can women and men be friends? Which of the sexes have been better friends to you?


Pedaling said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

my 13 year old's very favorite person for the last 3 years is a boy.
and this has worked out well for them.
next year they will be attending different schools.

my middle daughter has many male friends- often times I can see that they would like more from the relationship than she is interested in giving, but they will settle....for awhile. At this age, it's difficult for single men and women to have simply a friendship only- the dudes usually want a relationship.

me- i really like men. i like that they are uncomplicated. i like woman too- but it wasn't until, i'd say the last 10 years, that i really found comfort in female i wouldn't trade them for anything. The male friends I have are more through my husband- and it's not the same kind of friendships I have with woman, because that, as you said, would not be appropriate for married people. a married lady should not be calling up a male, married or otherwise, to just shoot the breeze or with talk problems or whatever- that's just asking for trouble.

namaste said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

pedaling, my older daughter has always preferred male friends, while her little sister prefers females. go figure! i confess it saddens me to see my oldest miss out on female friendships because i believe those bonds can be special and long-lasting. as for being a married woman with male friends, i don't think there are any steadfast rules on it. some people handle it (i think) with no problem. i've tried it and it FAILED. the men in my experience ALWAYS end up flirting and making me uncomfortable. and it's too bad cuz like you said, i like that men tend to be more uncomplicated than women.

Just a conservative girl said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Most of my closest friends are male. They are far less catty.

I have the advantage of being that girl that people want to marry, not have a sex thing with. I guess I have always been serious. I am not sure of the reasoning behind that really, but it is the way it has always been for me. I have female friends, but my nearest and dearest are men, and yes it is sometimes tricky after marriage. Mine just accepts it as part of who I am, but it didn't come easily or right away.

namaste said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

jacg, oh boy i know what you mean about the women. i've never understood why women are the meanest to each other. i'm not proud to say this but, in my younger days they made me cry way more than men. with marriage a few of us married the good ones who will accept our guy friends. lucky you! thanks much for another point of view.